Advice from a second year ready to drop out.
I'm going to make some radical statements here but stick with me. I am now in my second year of Graphic Design at Trent and on more then one occasion i have been ready to quit my course from multiple reasons.
Ill list why I want to drop out (see bellow);
now as you can clearly see on this luminous post it that all of these reasons are bogus. well, they are clearly genuine reasons to drop out but if I take a closer look into myself, are they?
have I talked to my course leader?
am I on my period? (now believe me on this one I've been on my period for 2 months and am blaming it on my hormonal and emotional state which is causing violent mood swings and the constant fear of failure and need to drop out of every important thing in my life)
there for have you been to the doctors?
have you taken any course of action into fixing any of these problems?
The answer is no.
If I apply myself perhaps I wouldn't be in this mental health swamp in which I'm drowning. But here is the funny thing. I don't need to be. Today I realized I have received a strike from my course. now I'm bearing all to you in hopes that maybe just maybe someone reading this will need to hear it too...
by a twist of fate, I missed 4 lessons with my COURSE LEADER of all people. It was not intentional but with work commitments and uni I was juggling too much and something crumbled. and it was uni, I had allowed myself to miss so many sessions before Christmas that once Christmas was over and I had changed tutors I was just too embarrassed to turn up so my course leader, the beautiful and marvelous Hannah has given me a strike for my attendance (three and you're out of the course) and yes, that sounds like sarcasm but its not. Because of this strike I had a meeting with her, and like a hand from heaven she lifted me from the oily pits id found myself in and I feel so amazing after just a 15 minute chat with her.
I found when talking to her that she specified I can do illustration in ALL of my work and most importantly in ALL of it. If I need to reiterate ALLLLL of it! So what I thought my course was lacking was actually some of the wrong tutors were putting me down and pushing me in a path I didn't have to go and most importantly didn't want to go. as a result of this, my work I was churning out was like shoving wet paper through a play dough press. not gonna happen. my creativity was now clogged with typography and editorial that is utterly vile in my creative mind and just halted me altogether. but Hannah has given me a new lease of life in telling me I can. and I could have spoken to her weeks ago and I perhaps wouldn't have been in this pickle.
The point is, no matter how out of reach these people seem they aren't. At uni, they'll be lectures you like and lectures you don't, especially in creative design courses there are a wealth of people in so many different fields trying to drag you into the field they know best. DON'T LET IT HAPPEN, sure dabble in it all explore everything experiment in necromancy and sword swallowing if you must but do what you love!!! and find a tutor and people who also love what you love, feed off their knowledge and thrive! Don't get emotionally and creatively clogged. A clogged brain is as good as a clogged toilet, you leave it, it'll get toxic. so plunge that poop!
And then to tough on the other points. the implant is great but can cause 2 month-long periods. not dangerous to health but 100% destroy you emotionally through cramps, mood swings, spots, period boobs, and all-round sucky-ness. but go to the doctors or sexual health clinic the lovely nurse has put me on the pill for a month to sort out my hormone levels which should stop the bleeding again. (always wear condoms but always go to the doctors with any health concerns you have. don't suffer).
go to the park. fine a public access river or pond, don't trespass. and feed the ducks. B&Ms sells birdseed and feed that is good for the wildlife. ovoid bread, it has no nutritional value and them ducks will think they are full when actually they just the human equivalent of crackers, tasteless, and lacking in any value. That's the cheap option, but in Nottingham, we have Kitty Cafe where you pay to play with cats for an hour or take up horseback riding. I have now taken to riding once every fortnight in hopes that will keep costs at bay but also my need for animals satisfied. A Moss cuddle is always well received and looking back on the old images fills me with those happy memories. Call mum, call family members call friends to call hotlines to call whoever you need. phone calls can do so much good just to hear a voice.
and be happy.
that's perhaps the most radical and stupid statement but it true. be happy. stop the negativity and replace it with positivity. Count 20 amazing things you see on the way to class. birds singing, that ladies coat, that dog, my outfit, that child's smile...... and so on. It does wonders for my mood. especially if something negative happens to put me in a bad mood even before I leave the house, it can ruin my whole day. So don't let it.
perhaps it's not that east but so far I just wrote another blog post. something again I have been putting of. so these methods work for me. find your own methods, use mine, use strangers, use a friend. Just don't drown. you've got this. just ask for help.
Chloe love x.